Thursday, December 16, 2010

I am Tengil, and this is my story...
See, I used to be just your average Sin'dorei. I partied 24/7, drained the life out of mana-wyrms for those precious drops of magic when I wasn't busy summoning the forces of the Nether to do my bidding. You see, things just kind of fell apart after Arthas blew up the Sunwell, and we had to make do with what we had. My girlfriend at the time, Thanaris, assured me that everything was going to turn out for the best. She was a paladin, or, a Blood Knight, and we used to talk long into the night while eating ice cream sundaes and watching the fireworks in the distance... *sigh* Times were certainly tough.

Thanaris never told me how she and her order had gained the blessing of the Light, but I never asked. After all, I was too busy studying under Magistrix Erona to care that much... the paladins weren't bothered by the fact that we made pacts with fiends from the lowest depths of the Abyss, I figured we should cut them the same slack.

But all of this changed. Thanaris told me that she was leaving for the Outlands. "Tengil, my love," she told me as we both fed on succulent cherries and combed each other's long, silky smooth hair. "Prince Kael'Thas has set out to craft a new kingdom for our kind. I wish to join him and reaffirm Quel'thalas's position as a strong and independent nation."

At first, I could not believe what she told me. Maybe it was the mead made from thousands of carefully cultivated orchids... or maybe the candied eyes of farstriders, richly textured with shredded gold-berry cores and wrapped in leaves of Bloodthistle, that made me somewhat distracted, or perhaps it was the way the breeze made my hair flutter like the wings of a beautiful swan in the early morning mist...

But when I had finally come to my senses, Thanaris was gone. My eternal love had left me for a fool's errand.

But I would wait for her, I would wait for Kael'thas to give our race what we so truly deserved. I would wait for him to provide for me what was rightfully mine without having to lift a finger to aid him or my beloved.

But the years passed.
I made a decision

There are only so many decadent ways a man can pass time with, and nearly four years after Thanaris left me, and Quel'thalas, behind to pursue her... goal, I realized that I, too, needed to make a journey. I needed to find my love, I needed to convince her to come back to me, or at least send me a freakin' letter about what's going on in the Outlands. I haven't heard a peep from there since she left, and frankly we're getting a bit worried if they've just decided to party on without us.

That can not be allowed.

So I set out to pursue her, and before I knew it I'd gotten dragged into one plot after another. "Kill me ten tigers," "Find the traitor and execute him," "Go fetch me some water."

Everywhere I turned, people clamored for my attention, looking for the slightest reason to shower me in silver-coins and send me off to do whatever they couldn't be arsed with doing. Hell, in the end, I single-handedly ended the Scourge Presence in our land! I DID THAT!

Makes you wonder what our glorious leaders have been doing for the past few years. Presumably partying and eating candied stridereyes like the rest of us.

ANYWAY. Once the dust had settled over the corpse of Dar'Khan (and to think I used to have wine with this fellow every Saturday!) I went right back to Silvermoon.

Bitches

It seems that the undeads I'd met in Tranquilien weren't the only shambling, stinking dead around here (Besides the Scourge I mean), it seems Sylvanas Windrunner's up and about over at Castle Lordaeron. Sylvanas Windrunner.

Wow...

I went to school with her.

So that's why she never returned my calls (look, I'm telling you, 4 years!)

Death to all who oppose us
 It seems Lord Theron wants to shack up with Sylvanas and join this... uh... Horde thing she's got going with... the orcs, I guess? Look, I'm not judging or anything, but I mean. She's been dead for a couple of years, and the orcs? My dad didn't die fighting those savages just so we could chummy up with them!

Still, I'll do this, if only because my name'll go down in the history books as the guy who got shit done.

Forgot to ask if they had heard anything from Outlands, but I'm sure there's time for that later.

Lady Sylvanas Windrunner, I presume?

It wasn't exactly HARD to find my way to the lair of those filthy, stinking beasts that refer to themselves as the "Forsaken". I did have to take a bit of a different route though, seems Lordaeron's been completely overrun with the undead since last I left Quel'thalas, and not the good kind either.

Anyway, I made my way over to "Lady" Windrunner for a quick chat, and she seemed quite eager to sign this petition to have us join the Horde. I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with the prospect of sharing dinner tables with the orcs and trolls... but hey, we need the allies we can get, right?

Once all the formalities were settled, I rather humbly asked if she was interested in dinner or something, you know, whenever. She only gave me a cold look.

Undeath certainly hasn't changed her.

Well, it would seem like the next logical step would be the Barrens in Kalimdor. I heard that's where the main body of the Horde sit around doing nothing, but before I leave for Another Continent I figured I should drop by Gilneas and pay a visit to my good old friend Crowley. It's been a few years since the last time I met him, and that was...
What the hell...?

What... has happened to Silverpine Forest? Why is there a huge glass bottle of green goop on a cart? Why are the Forsaken here?

These questions filled my mind as I sat atop my valiant, tiny-brained steed, looking out over the ruins that was Silverpine. Had I really been gone so long? Had those hours of mushroom concoctions really been years? What the hell was going on?

An encampment...

I approached an encampment of these despicable undead as I moved further into the forest, and the livery of the Lich Queen... in lack of better names, stared back at me. Sylvanas had been busy indeed. Lordaeron was hers, she argued, but Silverpine... had Gilneas fallen too? Was she set on taking the entire continent for herself?

Huge Bitch, Bluh Bluh

She had somehow travelled here after our meeting... I can only presume that with the backing of the Sin'dorei, her plans to conquer the rest of Lordaeron would be set in motions. And there I was, a single elven warlock, not even remotely interested in these strange politics I had been thrust into, looking up at this... shell of my old friend.

Strangely poetic, I know.

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